Last week, I wrote about what regrets several friends and I had from our wedding days long ago. I thought it would be good insight for future brides to learn from the our mistakes hoping they might learn a little something and hopefully not make the same mistakes we did. Well, my dear husband read my post and loved it. He agreed that it was good to share our regrets from a brides perspective, but he had one question for: WHAT ABOUT THE GROOM??? Of course! How could I forget about the grooms point of view?!?! So, I asked my husband to go to work and ask the men what THEY regretted about their wedding day. Here is a list of THEIR regrets from 5 different men who have been married for over 4 years each:
1. I wish we didn’t get married during the peak wedding season. We spent so much more money on everything. Soon after our wedding we realized that we could have spent a lot less if we just would have waited a few months. Peak wedding season exists because it tends to be the perfect weather for the area; in AZ we are lucky as we have about 8 fantastic months perfect for weddings. You can still get married during the best time of the year but consider getting married on a Sunday or Friday instead to save some dough.
2. I wish we would have taken our honeymoon right after our wedding. Our finances were tight and we were so busy with our work schedules so we decided that we would have to take our honeymoon when things slowed down for us. 5 years later things have never slowed down and we never did end up taking our honeymoon. Yes, we have taken trips in the past 5 years, but we never considered one of them our honeymoon. Between work schedules and finances, a honeymoon may not always be convenient immediately following the wedding. But it is important to celebrate your new life together –just the two of you. Look at some local hotels and see if you can spend that first weekend away–just the two of you. It doesn’t have to be in a different country or even state, but do take at least a night or two to celebrate…ALONE!
3. I look back at our wedding pictures and realize that I don’t even know who half the people are! I would have cut down our list to just the people who we have known forever and truly love like family and lifelong friends. So many people were there that we never even saw after our wedding and it makes me regret inviting so many fringe people. Don’t feel the pressure to invite everyone you know when you get married. Focus on the people like close family and lifelong friends to be there for your special day. You’re great-great Aunt Betsy’s step daughter should understand, people should be happy for you because you are getting married, not just because they were invited!
4. I wish our schedule wasn’t so rigid. I felt like we couldn’t do anything that wasn’t on the schedule. Once the ceremony was over we had to take family pictures, couple pictures, solo pictures while all of our guests were celebrating and dancing. One of the amazing thing about weddings in today’s day is that you have the option to take pictures BEFORE the ceremony. Long ago it was believed that the couple shouldn’t see each other before the ceremony because it was bad luck. This idea is said to be derived from the days when there were prearranged marriages. Both families feared that either the bride or groom would flee if they saw their future spouse ahead of time so they prohibited the bride and groom from seeing each other. That is not the case anymore! Our photographer at our wedding actually encouraged us to take our pictures before our ceremony- he said it would calm our fears and we could share a private moment before all the festivities began. We took his advice, took almost all of our “posed” photographs before the ceremony and were able to spend the night celebrating our marriage while our photographer captured all the fun.
5. I wish I gave the DJ specific kinds of music we didn’t want played. Our DJ played a variety of music, but not all of it we wanted to dance to. Looking back we should have been very specific with what we wanted him to play. Just like anything else in your wedding, your music should represent you and your spouse. Although you may like certain kinds of music, that does not mean you want it played at your reception. When meeting with the DJ, be specific with what you want and don’t want played. You will give your DJ a list of songs you want played for the father daughter dance, your grand entrance, etc, be sure to add what kind of music you do and don’t want played during the rest of the reception. A good DJ is always happy to oblige and will be able to satisfy the crowd.
So, there you have it…5 regrets from 5 married men as they reflect back on their wedding day. I hope this gives you a few things to think about and consider when planning your own wedding.
Have a regret (either from the Bride or Groom) you think I missed? Email me, I ‘d love your feedback.